Before the Disaster | Top 5 mistakes Brides make when planning a wedding
We all have this vision of our wedding day being perfect with lots of flowers, smiling faces and everything goes as planned. The truth of the matter is, that rarely happens. So it's better to get that out of your head right now. Of course, all unplanned imperfections don't have to be a bad thing. Sometimes, they become those precious moments we have engrained in our memories forever. Unfortunately, we do come across those moments in which we could have avoided or wished someone would have mentioned to us ahead of time to avoid these, sometimes, ill-fated catastrophes. That is what I'm here to do...save you from the unwanted disasters.
These are the top 5 mistakes that brides make in regards to planning their wedding; at least in my opinion. There are more, of course, but that would take way too long and I may have make this a continued piece. But for now, let's just stick to 5 and see where it takes us.
1. | MAKING A BUDGET (AND STICKING TO IT)
Money is an important part of a wedding. In fact, it's an important part of life. You need money to set a standard of what you need and ultimately, what you want. You don't always have to go with the caterer that charges $75 a person when you can find a more reasonable alternative or less expensive caterer that will be able to accomplish what you hope to achieve.
Things that can help...
Sit down and figure out how much you are willing and able to spend on your entire wedding. Whether it's with your partner or with your parents or both, this needs to be communicated with everyone who is paying for the big day.
Write down the things you "need" for your wedding. Then, number them starting with the most important to least important of what you and your partner wish to have. For instance, Though you want the simple beach wedding, you still don't want to sacrifice a beautiful ceremony or reception that you have been dreaming about for years. So, set your venue first and maybe your dress second.
See what you can swing and stay within your alotted amount. Make sure to budget for a little wiggle room as there may be expenses you have forgotten about or was added last minute. You don't want to be in debt during the first year of your marriage. You want that time to enjoy eachother, not worrying about paying off your wedding.
Setting a budget allows you to see what amount of money you can afford to go towards your wedding and not put you into a financial hole in the end. Be smart with your money, allow give for the unexpected; because the unexpected WILL happen.
2. | THINKING YOU CAN DO IT ALL
I'm not saying this just because I'm a wedding planner but I am. So with that, let me say; I've been in your shoes. I once was a bride and thought I could handle everything myself. Oh was I wrong. I am naturally a creative person and organized but when it came to my wedding day, there is too much chaos to control.
Sure, at first you will think, "I can do this all on my own." And for the most part you are probably hitting the nail right on the head. But you will be approaching your wedding day and realize there will be more to handle and prepare that you had no clue was a part of making your big day go smoothly. So, unless you plan on spending most of your wedding day, or the days following up to it, making sure all your vendors are there, everyone is on time and everything is set up the way you want; it won't work.
I'm not going to lie, it's a lot of work putting together an event; especially something as important as a wedding. I'm sure you don't want to spend your entire engagement and wedding day going over every tedious detail. Absolutely, you want to take part in the fun stuff like picking out your dress or going cake tasting to find the perfect flavor of cake. What I'm sure you wouldn't want to do is hammering out the details for several hours trying to compromise with the band on what time you need them there and for how long, for a reasonable cost. Doing everything, you will stress yourself out and get burndt out quickly; don't do that to yourself.
You may have those family members, as everyone does; mother, future mother-in-law, aunt, sister, etc.; that want to help. Great! Though it may start out wonderfully, doesn't mean it always does. A problem might arise that they bring to you an idea that they are firm on and you absolutely refuse to have part in. Then you run into the issue of you not wanting to hurt their feelings or making them mad because you really dislike their idea.
This is where it is helpful to have a nuetral party to be your helping hand. Whether it be a hired professional or someone you can trust, that can navigate through all your needs and the responsibilities of getting things set up without hurting Aunt Jenny's feelings. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
3. | NOT GIVING YOURSELF ENOUGH TIME
You're super excited, he finally popped the question and you said "YES!" Best moment of your life thus far. Now what to do? You set the date and it's two years away, plenty of time to plan your wedding. Then you realize 6 month's from your wedding date, you have nothing planned. The only thing is you have your wedding dress, great start. You try to book your Venue that you have been dreaming about but they are completely booked and have a year waiting list. Yikes! Now what?
It's scary but true. You always want to give yourself plenty of time to book your Vendors and Venue. The most popular one's will book their schedule quickly especially when it's prime wedding season. Be sure to find the right vendors well enough in advance, but not too far out, and put a deposit down to secure their services.You really need to have the right timeline for every detail in your wedding so take caution to what needs to be done and when.
4. | NOT GETTING REFERENCES ON VENDORS
It happens to the best of us. We find that one vendor that seems too good to be true and turns out it was exactly that. You hire a vendor that backs out at the last minute, even though you put down a deposit, and now you are left to scramble to find a replacement. Then to find out later this particular vendor has a nasty habit of skipping out on their obligations, leaving their clients to fend for themselves.
Though, most vendors are not like this; at least not the one's that want to continue to have a thriving business. But it sadly happens. Almost as if it's Murphy's Law; whatever can happen will happen and to reduce the chances of it happening like this, make sure to have references on all vendors. Check to make sure they are reliable. If you see they have a bad review, what was it for. Was it a legit complaint? Or just a very unruly client that nothing made them happy no matter what the vendor did. Make sure to look into such claims because some might not be just.
If you hire a wedding coordinator, they know the vendors that are reliable and do the best with what they have. Always good to have a professional in your corner. They will help you weed through the unfortunate bad vendors.
It never hurt anyone to get references. View vendor's portfolios, ask people who have used them before how they liked them; pros and cons, etc.
Make sure to read the contract. Let me say that again, MAKE SURE TO READ THE CONTRACT. Those are set up to protect you and the vendor so be sure to go through carefully and discuss any questions you may have before signing.
Keep all reciepts for every payment you make. It's always a good idea to have a flow sheet showing which vendors you put deposits down for and the amount owed to them and when it's needing to be paid in full.
Being informed and organized will help you with the trials and terbulations that you may encounter with vendors. Though there are more good than bad; just be sure to keep the bad to a minimum.
5. | WEDDING ETIQUETTE
This one might seem to be the easiest concept for all of us to embrace but it is a tricky one. There are standards for proper etiquette ranging from how much to tip vendors, asking guests to wear a certain attire, letting guests know that it's a "no children" event, or something as simple as invitations. All of what goes into a wedding has a certain flow and politeness to it. Because face it, if you offend those you invite; it may be a lonely day. So why deal with the unwanted drama and confusion and go with the proper standard of etiquette to ensure a great day for everyone.
One thing is for certain and I have to say it, your family should be the first one's to know you just got engaged. There is nothing worse than Mom finding out you're getting married from a facebook post. That would make for one unhappy mama. Tell the people that are most important to you first before putting it out there for all of the rest of the world to see.
Everyone has this question, "When do I send out the Save-the Date cards?" "Do we have to send Save-the-Date cards?" " When do I send out the invitations?" "When should I have my guests RSVP by?"
To make it easier, just remember...is the date a year or more away or are people going to have to travel to attend your wedding? If the answer is yes, then you need to give your guests plenty of time to make travel arrangements and ask for time off if they work. Sending out Save-the-Date cards would be a good idea.
You'll want to send out Save-the-Date cards six to eight months before the wedding date. That will give your guests plenty of time to make the proper arrangements.
Send out your wedding invites eight weeks from your wedding date. That will give the invitation enough time to make it to everyone and to send back the RSVP cards.
Each caterer is different so you will need to find out how far in advance they will need to know the amount of people attending. Most of them require a week before hand. With that, you will want to give room to ensure you get the most responses as possible from your guests. Allow a few days to a week before the official date the caterer gave you for RSVPs as there will be several guests that haven't responded and may just need that friendly reminder.
This, may be the most common mistake in etiquette that a bride has been guilty of and that is the registry information. You should NOT send where you are registered at for gifts with your wedding invitations or with your Save-the-Date cards. This is still impolite and tells your guests that you are expecting gifts. A good way to get this information out is to tell your close friends and family and they will usually spread the word. People will always ask where you are registered. Another fun way to get the information out is you can set up a wedding website with all the details of your wedding on there which can include where you are registered at. This way there is one place for all of your guests to get all or most of your wedding details without having to search.
In the end, if you have to ask the question if something is correct or proper or the way things need to go, it's always best to find out before you get yourself into a Wedding Catastrophe.
As always, have a beautiful day!
